Trauma is anything that is not truth, not unconditional love, not complete authenticity, or honesty. So let's not confuse and mince words and just call it for what it is, and stop surrendering to being too sensitive or pandering to people's emotional triggers.
An emotional wound is another way of considering trauma, and so is "evil". Yes, evil is nothing more than anything that is "anti-soul", anti-love, anti-compassion, anti-joy... So, there is a direct correlation between trauma, evil, and emotional wounds, and there is a direct correlation between all of those things and most illnesses we face today. Emotional triggers happen because there are wounds present in a person, that is what is being triggered, and we need to allow ourselves to be triggered, and face what those triggers/wounds are, and do what we can to heal them, not avoid them...
Consider evil as the things we do from those wounded places, not the wound/trauma itself. When we act on those wounds in a way that is not loving and caring, we do acts of evil, plain and simple. Let's all accept this, and find solutions instead of smearing the pain all over the place. I know it's not easy, but we can manage it if we all agree to the same principles, and work together to resolve the growing suffering on our planet.
An emotional wound is another way of considering trauma, and so is "evil". Yes, evil is nothing more than anything that is "anti-soul", anti-love, anti-compassion, anti-joy... So, there is a direct correlation between trauma, evil, and emotional wounds, and there is a direct correlation between all of those things and most illnesses we face today. Emotional triggers happen because there are wounds present in a person, that is what is being triggered, and we need to allow ourselves to be triggered, and face what those triggers/wounds are, and do what we can to heal them, not avoid them...
Consider evil as the things we do from those wounded places, not the wound/trauma itself. When we act on those wounds in a way that is not loving and caring, we do acts of evil, plain and simple. Let's all accept this, and find solutions instead of smearing the pain all over the place. I know it's not easy, but we can manage it if we all agree to the same principles, and work together to resolve the growing suffering on our planet.
TRAUMA IS SIMPLY A WOUND FROM THE PAST THAT HAS NOT HEALED
Many people think of trauma, or PTSD/C-PTSD, as something only those having experienced super traumatic events have. No, we all have trauma, and all of our trauma keeps us in suffering, and exposes us to being re-traumatized in all sorts of ways. That is the hamster in the head of many people, trying to resolve pain from the past, and not knowing how to go about it. Trauma is at the source of many illnesses, like depression, anxiety, addictions, rage, perfectionism, jealousy, resentment, bitterness, despair, shame, guilt... Again, you can associate trauma to evil, or anti-soul things stuck in your body, and all of those anti-soul things will compel you to either heal them, or indulge in them, do hurtful things to yourself or others, they will not remain silent, or repressed.
"The paradox of trauma is that it has both the power to destroy and the power to transform and resurrect..." - Peter A. Levine
Those are the gifts people can have, when they choose a true, and deep, healing path: To transform pain into love, suffering into empathy, fears into compassion, and evil into peace and wisdom.
Over the years, I've developed a much deeper understanding of pain and suffering, and hell. I know that trauma is a very vicious cycle, and I know that people who allow themselves to be victimized by narcissists and abusers, they often feel that they are worse than the abuse they are experiencing. Does this make sense to you? It does for me, not in the good sense of it, but I understand where it comes from.
I allowed myself to be victimized because either I thought I was worse, or no better, or at times because I felt I was strong and could handle it, or that they were weak, or immature, and they could not help themselves, having pity on them... Either way, I always ended up accepting it, and got abused, changed, modified for the worse, way more than I realized. Until it came to a point where I could not take my future into my own hands anymore, not even the basic stuff, teetering very close to destruction. It took an epic amount of pain before I started to stand up for myself, I had nothing left, practically homeless, my common sense was reduced to almost nothing, even getting a regular job seemed like an insurmountable task. It took all of that, more than I could handle at the time, and almost more than I could come back from, before I gave myself permission to look at my abusers in the eyes, figuratively, and also literally, and see them for who they were, and what they had done. And a lot of abuse came from my own silence, accepting little "hits" here and there, accepting the challenges to, and weakening of, my boundaries. So a lot of it was self inflicted, in a sense.
Now, a lot of that abuse, was of the past mixed in with the present, in ways people abuse at times without knowing, yet at times they did, but not to say that my abusers were a bunch of super evil intended people in my direct surroundings. Abuse can be very direct, but it can also be more hidden, and subject to a person's perspective. A person can slap you in the face, for comedic effect, intending no harm, and another can do the same thing to belittle you beyond reason, to crush your will to live. Perspective and intent have a lot to do with how painful something can be, or not. The same as trauma, some people accumulate a lot more than others for the same kind of experiences. Let your heart guide you to your own truth, more than the memories and events. The amount of trauma a person experiences is directly related to how much of their experience the person is not able to process at the time when it happened, not so much what is, was, actually happening. Again, that is why different people get traumatized at different levels, and in different ways, in very similar situations. The extra emotions and feelings that the body was not able to process at the time it happened become trauma, and that extra stuff gets stuck in your system, related, and connected to, the memory of the experience and the people and things around them.
A WARNING: EVEN "GOOD" THINGS CAN CREATE TRAUMA
Trauma isn't just about bad things, trauma happens any time parts of you get lost, away from your present self. A person might get abused, but if they are strong, they can experience pain, but not trauma, if they can manage to fully process those emotions when they happen, or a short time thereafter. Now, a person that bought a lottery ticket and for some reason, misread the last number and thought they won the jackpot for a few days, and made all sorts of plans for the money, created all sorts of fantasies, desires. Two days later, they find out they only won ten thousand dollars, as the last number was needed for the biggest prize. Well, that person has a good chance of developing trauma for the experience. Even if they did not make any drastic changes in their lives, like quitting their jobs, the let down, they might not be able to fully recover from it. They might get stuck not wanting to buy any other lottery ticket for the grief, or become more addicted to them, start drinking, crying on what could have been. If they cannot properly let go of the dream life they had created, that is trauma.
All dissociation, good or bad, is trauma.
Yes, even people who keep wishing on winning the lottery and not accepting their present, create trauma, people who keep wishing on meeting their soul mate, the perfect "future" wedding, a good retirement that is years away... Anything that pulls parts of us away from the present, creates and sustains trauma. Yes, getting beaten might not cause trauma, but buying a lottery ticket can. Again, all non-presence is trauma... So, how do you think trauma is related to ADHD, mental illnesses, anxiety, blame, bitterness, resentment, shame, guilt, jealousy?
And all trauma, are like dark holes in your system that you can fall into, get sabotaged by, your brain not functioning to its best ability, creating difficulties in relationships, they make feeling love very hard, they make reasoning and common sense harder to get to, all sorts of emotional triggers, anger, lack of peace and resilience...
Think of this as a mental exercise, considering trauma: If you stop using chemicals in your pool for environmental reasons, and stop your filter to conserve energy, don't expect "nature" to create a pristine lake out of it. There is no pristine lake, the water might be clear, but keep in mind what accumulates at the bottom. We cannot become like that. Our heart is the filter, and our love the "chemical" that keeps us healthy. Trauma causes them to shut down, getting clogged, blockages, and bad stuff does accumulate at the bottom, and affects us in many hard to see ways. Healing is pain resolution, ending conflict, and planting seeds of life in those places that were dark before. Love is like having the perfect balance between chemicals and filtering agents in your pool, but love needs help, it is not passive, so is our healing.
"I'm still coping with my trauma, but coping by trying to find different ways to heal it rather than hide it..." - Clemantine Wamariya
A lot of people hide their trauma in abusive relationships, this might sound odd, but it is true, by allowing themselves to be victims, or victimizers. Either way, it is about pain avoidance, mostly for not facing the pains of their childhood, or generational sins. Because we can inherit the trauma of our parents (yes, it is even in the Bible), even if they did not directly cause us the suffering that they themselves experienced. Yes, people can inherit the trauma of sexual abuse even if they were not sexually abused themselves, if it is in the DNA of your parents and has not been healed, you will most likely get it anyway. It might not affect you in the same way as if you experienced it yourself, but it will still affect you to a certain extent, just as we are predisposed to having cancer if our parents had it, another illness well associated with our soul, spiritual energy. That is why in many belief systems, they say someone at some point rises to take on the suffering of their family and ancestors. The suffering their family was not able to face themselves, one generation after another, when it becomes too great to keep passing on. It can be a truly painful path, but the most rewarding if done properly.
My own "waking up" process took many years to unfold, during which time I was nearly going out of my mind, literally. And waking up is only part of the work, then you must heal, and make better decisions, and figure out a better environment for you to live in. Fortunately your system is always trying to heal, even if you block it from doing so at times. It might give you some relief to block it for a while, but it comes at a cost when you ignore it too long; ignore your suffering, and your body/mind's resources will continuously be funneled into those distant pains. Resources that you redirect from your present moment to keep those parts of you that are lost in illusions, in your subconscious, from fading away. The more lost parts, the more your system must use resources to keep them alive, background tasks that prevent you from being present, from using your brain to its full capacity. And making us all prone to distractions and lack of focus, triggers, and creating so many of our illnesses and diseases.
"The effects of unresolved trauma can be devastating. It can affect our habits and outlook on life, leading to addictions and poor decision-making. It can take a toll on our family life and interpersonal relationships. It can trigger real physical pain, symptoms, and disease. And it can lead to a range of self-destructive behaviors..." - Peter A. Levine
Which means percentages of your mind will always be diverted into those tasks, much like the CPU and memory of your computer; all those background processes sapping the computing power you would like to have for more intensive work and processes that you are actually working on. Trauma is old programming that is incompatible with your current life, it is bloatware, spyware, viruses and worms, self-destructive behaviors... You can't buy a new body/brain and start over for yourself as you do when your computer can't keep up with your work anymore. You must deal with those background things, heal, re-program towards love and compassion, forgive, let go, as the only way to a better life, a better you.
"Trauma fractures comprehension as a pebble shatters a windshield. The wound at the site of impact spreads across the field of vision, obscuring reality and challenging belief..." - Jane Leavy
Yes, all wounds, all trauma, are like dirty, cracked lenses that keep accumulating over your eyes, over reality. Rose colored, black, white, and everything in between. They might make things appear worse sometimes, or better at other times, but neither is good for anyone who wishes to be authentic, loving and true to themselves, and is trying to reach for God and a better life beyond this place.
A NOTE ON FORGIVENESS:
All healing paths must include forgiveness, for others, and for yourself. But know that you forgive for you first and foremost, not for the other person. It is to free yourself from suffering, to make you stronger, and more loving. This is an important lesson because many times the other person you would want to forgive, does not have the capacity to allow forgiveness, remember, that is most likely the reason that you have been hurt by them, and nothing has been done about it. Superficial things, are easier to forgive, but for deeper trauma, you must take forgiveness seriously, and not sprinkle it without care or thought. Also know that you can forgive someone without them needing to be part of the forgiveness, and also, you can forgive someone without welcoming them back into your life again.
And you never forgive and forget, that is a recipe for disaster, to attract further abuse. No, you let go of the pain, but you remember the events that caused the pain to make certain you learn, to not allow that again. Narcissists love those that live by that expression, "forgive and forget", and that within itself is a big lesson to not forget also.
Many people think of trauma, or PTSD/C-PTSD, as something only those having experienced super traumatic events have. No, we all have trauma, and all of our trauma keeps us in suffering, and exposes us to being re-traumatized in all sorts of ways. That is the hamster in the head of many people, trying to resolve pain from the past, and not knowing how to go about it. Trauma is at the source of many illnesses, like depression, anxiety, addictions, rage, perfectionism, jealousy, resentment, bitterness, despair, shame, guilt... Again, you can associate trauma to evil, or anti-soul things stuck in your body, and all of those anti-soul things will compel you to either heal them, or indulge in them, do hurtful things to yourself or others, they will not remain silent, or repressed.
"The paradox of trauma is that it has both the power to destroy and the power to transform and resurrect..." - Peter A. Levine
Those are the gifts people can have, when they choose a true, and deep, healing path: To transform pain into love, suffering into empathy, fears into compassion, and evil into peace and wisdom.
Over the years, I've developed a much deeper understanding of pain and suffering, and hell. I know that trauma is a very vicious cycle, and I know that people who allow themselves to be victimized by narcissists and abusers, they often feel that they are worse than the abuse they are experiencing. Does this make sense to you? It does for me, not in the good sense of it, but I understand where it comes from.
I allowed myself to be victimized because either I thought I was worse, or no better, or at times because I felt I was strong and could handle it, or that they were weak, or immature, and they could not help themselves, having pity on them... Either way, I always ended up accepting it, and got abused, changed, modified for the worse, way more than I realized. Until it came to a point where I could not take my future into my own hands anymore, not even the basic stuff, teetering very close to destruction. It took an epic amount of pain before I started to stand up for myself, I had nothing left, practically homeless, my common sense was reduced to almost nothing, even getting a regular job seemed like an insurmountable task. It took all of that, more than I could handle at the time, and almost more than I could come back from, before I gave myself permission to look at my abusers in the eyes, figuratively, and also literally, and see them for who they were, and what they had done. And a lot of abuse came from my own silence, accepting little "hits" here and there, accepting the challenges to, and weakening of, my boundaries. So a lot of it was self inflicted, in a sense.
Now, a lot of that abuse, was of the past mixed in with the present, in ways people abuse at times without knowing, yet at times they did, but not to say that my abusers were a bunch of super evil intended people in my direct surroundings. Abuse can be very direct, but it can also be more hidden, and subject to a person's perspective. A person can slap you in the face, for comedic effect, intending no harm, and another can do the same thing to belittle you beyond reason, to crush your will to live. Perspective and intent have a lot to do with how painful something can be, or not. The same as trauma, some people accumulate a lot more than others for the same kind of experiences. Let your heart guide you to your own truth, more than the memories and events. The amount of trauma a person experiences is directly related to how much of their experience the person is not able to process at the time when it happened, not so much what is, was, actually happening. Again, that is why different people get traumatized at different levels, and in different ways, in very similar situations. The extra emotions and feelings that the body was not able to process at the time it happened become trauma, and that extra stuff gets stuck in your system, related, and connected to, the memory of the experience and the people and things around them.
A WARNING: EVEN "GOOD" THINGS CAN CREATE TRAUMA
Trauma isn't just about bad things, trauma happens any time parts of you get lost, away from your present self. A person might get abused, but if they are strong, they can experience pain, but not trauma, if they can manage to fully process those emotions when they happen, or a short time thereafter. Now, a person that bought a lottery ticket and for some reason, misread the last number and thought they won the jackpot for a few days, and made all sorts of plans for the money, created all sorts of fantasies, desires. Two days later, they find out they only won ten thousand dollars, as the last number was needed for the biggest prize. Well, that person has a good chance of developing trauma for the experience. Even if they did not make any drastic changes in their lives, like quitting their jobs, the let down, they might not be able to fully recover from it. They might get stuck not wanting to buy any other lottery ticket for the grief, or become more addicted to them, start drinking, crying on what could have been. If they cannot properly let go of the dream life they had created, that is trauma.
All dissociation, good or bad, is trauma.
Yes, even people who keep wishing on winning the lottery and not accepting their present, create trauma, people who keep wishing on meeting their soul mate, the perfect "future" wedding, a good retirement that is years away... Anything that pulls parts of us away from the present, creates and sustains trauma. Yes, getting beaten might not cause trauma, but buying a lottery ticket can. Again, all non-presence is trauma... So, how do you think trauma is related to ADHD, mental illnesses, anxiety, blame, bitterness, resentment, shame, guilt, jealousy?
And all trauma, are like dark holes in your system that you can fall into, get sabotaged by, your brain not functioning to its best ability, creating difficulties in relationships, they make feeling love very hard, they make reasoning and common sense harder to get to, all sorts of emotional triggers, anger, lack of peace and resilience...
Think of this as a mental exercise, considering trauma: If you stop using chemicals in your pool for environmental reasons, and stop your filter to conserve energy, don't expect "nature" to create a pristine lake out of it. There is no pristine lake, the water might be clear, but keep in mind what accumulates at the bottom. We cannot become like that. Our heart is the filter, and our love the "chemical" that keeps us healthy. Trauma causes them to shut down, getting clogged, blockages, and bad stuff does accumulate at the bottom, and affects us in many hard to see ways. Healing is pain resolution, ending conflict, and planting seeds of life in those places that were dark before. Love is like having the perfect balance between chemicals and filtering agents in your pool, but love needs help, it is not passive, so is our healing.
"I'm still coping with my trauma, but coping by trying to find different ways to heal it rather than hide it..." - Clemantine Wamariya
A lot of people hide their trauma in abusive relationships, this might sound odd, but it is true, by allowing themselves to be victims, or victimizers. Either way, it is about pain avoidance, mostly for not facing the pains of their childhood, or generational sins. Because we can inherit the trauma of our parents (yes, it is even in the Bible), even if they did not directly cause us the suffering that they themselves experienced. Yes, people can inherit the trauma of sexual abuse even if they were not sexually abused themselves, if it is in the DNA of your parents and has not been healed, you will most likely get it anyway. It might not affect you in the same way as if you experienced it yourself, but it will still affect you to a certain extent, just as we are predisposed to having cancer if our parents had it, another illness well associated with our soul, spiritual energy. That is why in many belief systems, they say someone at some point rises to take on the suffering of their family and ancestors. The suffering their family was not able to face themselves, one generation after another, when it becomes too great to keep passing on. It can be a truly painful path, but the most rewarding if done properly.
My own "waking up" process took many years to unfold, during which time I was nearly going out of my mind, literally. And waking up is only part of the work, then you must heal, and make better decisions, and figure out a better environment for you to live in. Fortunately your system is always trying to heal, even if you block it from doing so at times. It might give you some relief to block it for a while, but it comes at a cost when you ignore it too long; ignore your suffering, and your body/mind's resources will continuously be funneled into those distant pains. Resources that you redirect from your present moment to keep those parts of you that are lost in illusions, in your subconscious, from fading away. The more lost parts, the more your system must use resources to keep them alive, background tasks that prevent you from being present, from using your brain to its full capacity. And making us all prone to distractions and lack of focus, triggers, and creating so many of our illnesses and diseases.
"The effects of unresolved trauma can be devastating. It can affect our habits and outlook on life, leading to addictions and poor decision-making. It can take a toll on our family life and interpersonal relationships. It can trigger real physical pain, symptoms, and disease. And it can lead to a range of self-destructive behaviors..." - Peter A. Levine
Which means percentages of your mind will always be diverted into those tasks, much like the CPU and memory of your computer; all those background processes sapping the computing power you would like to have for more intensive work and processes that you are actually working on. Trauma is old programming that is incompatible with your current life, it is bloatware, spyware, viruses and worms, self-destructive behaviors... You can't buy a new body/brain and start over for yourself as you do when your computer can't keep up with your work anymore. You must deal with those background things, heal, re-program towards love and compassion, forgive, let go, as the only way to a better life, a better you.
"Trauma fractures comprehension as a pebble shatters a windshield. The wound at the site of impact spreads across the field of vision, obscuring reality and challenging belief..." - Jane Leavy
Yes, all wounds, all trauma, are like dirty, cracked lenses that keep accumulating over your eyes, over reality. Rose colored, black, white, and everything in between. They might make things appear worse sometimes, or better at other times, but neither is good for anyone who wishes to be authentic, loving and true to themselves, and is trying to reach for God and a better life beyond this place.
A NOTE ON FORGIVENESS:
All healing paths must include forgiveness, for others, and for yourself. But know that you forgive for you first and foremost, not for the other person. It is to free yourself from suffering, to make you stronger, and more loving. This is an important lesson because many times the other person you would want to forgive, does not have the capacity to allow forgiveness, remember, that is most likely the reason that you have been hurt by them, and nothing has been done about it. Superficial things, are easier to forgive, but for deeper trauma, you must take forgiveness seriously, and not sprinkle it without care or thought. Also know that you can forgive someone without them needing to be part of the forgiveness, and also, you can forgive someone without welcoming them back into your life again.
And you never forgive and forget, that is a recipe for disaster, to attract further abuse. No, you let go of the pain, but you remember the events that caused the pain to make certain you learn, to not allow that again. Narcissists love those that live by that expression, "forgive and forget", and that within itself is a big lesson to not forget also.